Lilly,
This originally had a beginning, but I guess it got lost. But it continues.
And then it's the part I barely remember. Emelia needs new members for the Aces, new, other rebels. I think it went like that. And then Fourth Year ends...wait, no, there's a party. The party where Vasil and Luca get into a fight. Well, while I was writing this, I went and checked all of your edits on EESM. I saw that there was a blog post. Luca's traits is that he was a stubborn older brother. Well, I don't know if Luca is older, but he's pretty stubborn. He doesn't hold things over his sister's head. Jealous? Maybe, probably. Poor? YES. Actually, this describes me well, all of those traits. Maybe that's why I connected to him so well.
I'm smiling now. That RP in Languages, where Luca referred as Zino as his best friend. Emelia was mad and wanted to kill him. I loved those two quotes. And now I remember the party came before Zino's bastard was announced. And now I remember that the Party was hosted by the Hexteria. Please don't tell me it was deleted, please don't. I saw the train sacking, it brought a smile to my face.
I found it. The Ballroom. It was cleared for the New Year, but I got the history. Emelia wants to blow it up. It make me smile. And Professor Campbell warns her about expulsion. Kovi defends Emelia. Belle's characters were beautiful. I'm sorry she's gone. Shannon thought she was about to get pulled out. I remember that RP as well. Val wants to tell someone something, probably her relationship with Luca. I post with Frenchie. Val tells them. Vas gets overprotective. And now he finds out it's Luca The Ace.
Xei defends her. I've always liked Xei...or his model better XD. And then Luca and Zino come in, talking about Zino's bastard, Feliks. omg then Vas explodes. I love that part. Luca stole his cupcake and said his Brotherhood of Assholes thingy.
Vas snatched teh cupcake back, and smashed it in Luca's face. "I hope you like it. It's a Shut The Fucupcake." He said, giving him the bird
I had to post that, that was really funny to me. Emelia comes over. Val finds out about Feliks. omg the fight <3. and then I'm reading RPs from Zino's office.
But the smiles have to end, right? I don't know where to start....
I remember back when I started EESM, hate was going against the admins on DARP. When I created EESM, I wanted everyone to pitch in. Not just admins, regular people too. No admin meetings, just people gathered together to help EESM. I remember that one time, someone wanted to kick everyone else simply because they weren't admins. And I grew angry at that.
When you grew angry at me, and took Ellie and Elsa and Liss along with you, I did the same thing I would've done: Take a long break from DARP. Because if you didn't know it already, you have your own little group. It's consisted of you, Ellie, Elsa, and now Mathia. I'm just friends with you, and each of them. Sure, we're all friends, but I wouldn't call myself part of your group because I tend to disagree with you. No, it's not that reason.
Whenever I get you mad, I get Ellie and Elsa mad as well. Remember that fight in July? Back when I discovered soccer, I loved it. I would watch every game of FIFA, Not every game. I quickly knew which team were my favorite teams, and I loved Germany from the start. It was the Germany vs Algeria game. And I was on-stop, full commentating.
I did know you were sad. You asked me to stop. Sophia was there and so she went with me to my sandbox wiki. And I guess I came back and I whined because I didn't know why you wanted me to stop. I got that you were sad and your head hurt. But you went to Elsa instead of going to me. It was a good choice, because I was you know, cheering for Germany. But had you went to me, I would've stopped the moment you start talking to me,
I have a friend, Mel. She hates contact, and when she's feeling down, the best thing to do is leave her alone. And that's what I do. Don't expect comfort from me unless you directly say you want comfort, or you say something about your problems. I didn't get that. All I got was a 'my head hurts' and 'could you tone it down a bit'. I didn't think anything was bad.
So of fucking course I was angry when Elsa sent me posts saying that I didn't care, that I cared more for Germany more than you. But now that I review it, it's just all a big misunderstanding. You didn't know I wouldn't come to you unles you asked for it.
I wanted to leave until the end of FIFA. I would come back at the end of the final game. But I ended up coming back. DARP was too addicting. And when you started supporting Germany, I can't say I wasn't annoyed. You had been crying that I cared more about this team than you and now you were supporting it? But I valued my friendship more, and I kept my anger to myself.
I know why I don't consider myself part of your group. We're too different, myself and your group. I don't know half of the stuff you guys talk about on main chat. And I've probably made you mad, made you sad, I've probably hurt you more than Ellie, Elsa, or Mathia. I don't want to be the backstabber of the group. So I identify myself with myself.
You write fanfics about EESM, about what's going to happen. I want everyone to get together. and choose what happens. That's what I want to happen on EESM. But my pride and jealously got in the way. I'm a Scorpio. I have to deal with that.
I stepped down from EESM. I consider myself not a Bcrat, Rabbitty is my successor. I've asked her to demote me to regular user. I'm pretty sure I am one. I've sent her an owl, asking her to delete my characters. They've reached the end of their stories. You know me for a writer. I'm currently deep in a writer's block.
I never wanted EESM to be DARP. Hell no. I just....remember when you changed the rebellion just because I was going to be more inactive because of school. I got mad beause you never asked me, you just assumed. I saw the new plans and I saw I wasn't going to be active at all with the rebellion. It's why I stopped going on. I wasn't needed. And now that I've stepped down, have EESM. You could do better than I ever did.
But don't let it ruin our friendship. We live in a castle right next to each other, well, not next to each other, but at least 500 feet. And at 250 feet, there's a line. It's at least a feet deep, and it divides us. You have Ellie, Elsa, and Liss on your side, knights, and there's you. You're at your castle.
And right now, I'm 5 feet near the line, on my knees. I have my sword beside me, and a bag of dirt. The bag of dirt is to fill in the line, to cover it up, but if you say no, the sword is there, and I will move out of my castle, to move to another, farther away from you.
I've said I'm sorry. I just want our friendship back. EESM doesn't matter to me as much as your friendship matters to me. Do you want to fill in the line, or make it stay? I will be happy if you do, but if you don't, I will recieve your answer graciously. And I'm sorry if this letter is shit. It's just me writing to find out an answer.